There is not a short answer to why someone may show the fawn response. If you answered yes to more than two of these questions, it is likely your default is the fawn response. You can start by asking yourself these questions to find out:ĭo I put my needs aside to make others feel better?ĭo I feel empty in relationships after giving too much of myself?ĭo I feel everyone’s emotions all at once?ĭo I think I am responsible for making everyone happy? Think you may fall into this category? Think back to any time conflict has come up. Sometimes those who show the fawn response don’t even know they are fawning, and they have likely experienced positive feedback from others in return, so it may not register as a problematic behavior. They think that if they make others happy, they will be in less danger. They unconsciously believe that the price for relational security is compliance. People who fawn tend to deny their preferences and boundaries to make other people happy. This can mean flattery, admission to toxic relationships, or complete destruction of personal boundaries. Pete Walker was a pioneer in defining “fawning.” Walker says this response is developed in childhood to avoid mistreatment from adults.įawn responses can be any number of things but are nervous attempts to deflect attention.

Though people-pleasing is not the only manifestation of fawning, it tends to be the most evident sign. What is the Fawn Response?ĭifferent from the fight, flight and freeze responses, the fawn response points to people-pleasing. If you have the “freeze” response early in life, you may be predisposed to experience freeze symptoms later in life. This response is also associated with “shell shock” or basic post-traumatic reactions. You stop thinking, stop moving, and, in some cases, stop breathing.īecause your body stops, it is an unconscious act of dissociation with whatever is happening around you. You are so overwhelmed by fear that your body stops. A fawn response occurs when a person’s brain acts as if they unconsciously perceive a threat, and compels survival behavior that keeps them under the radar. You might be wondering, what exactly are the freeze and fawn responses? Two of the four trauma responses (fight, flight, freeze, and fawn) that can stem from childhood trauma, and they both involve symptoms of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder). When the going gets tough in your relationships, what is your gut reaction? Do you feel like you spend most of your time pleasing other people? Or do you have a hard time knowing how to meet your needs? Maybe you feel like you don’t see a fight response or flight response in yourself, but you notice one of the two lesser-known responses: the freeze and fawn responses.

Pete walker trauma